I’m a smart bitch. I’m educated, experienced, well read and have mad emotional intelligence and communication skills. And yet somehow I still received the massive Mommy guilt like a gift with purchase from the hospital where my daughter was born.
I’ve been a stay at home Mommy, a work part time Mommy and am currently a work 4 jobs including running my own business Mommy. I’ve struggled with all the same decisions you have about child care, nursing, nutrition, sleeping arrangements, discipline methods blah, blah, blah. And while I don’t mean to pass any of those things off as being unimportant or silly… I do know that no matter what you do, you will feel like you aren’t being “Mom enough” in some way.
I spent the whole day crying the first time I left my kiddo in someone else’s care for an entire day. Turns out: she was fine.
Mothering is a challenging job. It’s terrifying actually. It’s a huge job. And in some ways if you aren’t a little terrified at the magnitude of the calling you might not realize how big it is. But starting with the actual labor and delivery we are silenced. It’s “gross” to talk about birth. Unsavory to nurse in mixed company and completely unacceptable to have a bad day with your child and admit it.
Well fuck that.
This is some seriously challenging stuff here. And there are about a billion ways to do it well and none of them will get you a standing ovation from everyone.
**Being a father is also a very challenging job, however (in my experience) Dad’s get parades thrown in their honor for changing diapers and Mothers… well not so much.**
So this Mother’s day throw yourself a freaking parade. You have successfully kept your child alive for (insert appropriate years here). You have done your best. You have learned, sometimes through trial and error how to better parent the wee one for whom you are responsible. And both (or all) of you have made it to another day of getting to be a family.
Kiss your kiddo. Pat yourself on the back. Forgive yourself for not completely loving every moment, everyday. It’s not unreasonable to be having feelings other than complete love and devotion when your toddler is throwing themselves on the floor over an apple juice for the third time in the hour when all you are trying to accomplish is a single load of dishes. No one likes that. You’re doing great.
You’re doing fantastic actually.
Consider this Mother’s day your parenting new years. So if you would like to improve some aspect of your relationship with your child, set yourself a little goal in that direction. But mostly realize you aren’t alone here. We all secretly know how hard this is and how badly we want someone to tell us we’re getting something right.
Well I’m telling you. You’re rockin it Mama.
Happy Mothers day. Your job is huge and hard and worth every painstaking/challenging/trying/difficult moment.
Take care of you. You’re doing great.