As long as you make similar choices to those around you, it is likely no one will have anything to say about your health. In college, when I was living off of velveeta and party pizzas no one asked me where I was getting my fiber. Aside from cardio provided by going out dancing I did a lot of not moving. No one presented to me their concerns about my cardiovascular health.
Since losing weight and changing my habits I’ve been presented with more concerns about my health than ever in my life. Mind you, I am a person who used to struggle with serious bouts of depression, frequent emergency room visits and chronic illness. But exercising and eating healthy are the things that caused alarm.
I am often asked where the protein is in my meal. Because everyone around me is suddenly a nutrition expert. I’ve been warned of the dangers of eating too much fruit, getting too skinny, eating frozen vegetables and vitamin deficiency.
Regarding exercise I am reminded often about overtraining. I am given the mandate of not getting “too bulky” (p.s. I lift heavy and often and I wouldn’t call myself bulky– just sayin). And I’ve gone from being routinely asked if I am pregnant to being asked if I “miss my boobs.”
If you’ve made similar changes you may have experience some of this. If not, it’s probably something you should expect. It used to really upset me and if I’d had any less motivation it may have been the thing that would have caused me to come to a grinding hault in my persuit of better health.
One day after what felt like a huge attack on my new healthy choices I was feeling particularly down. I had become passionate about fitness and health. I was working my butt off and seeing results. I’d never been so driven or worked so hard at something in my life. And the people around me were anything but impressed. In many cases critical or rude. My husband’s best friend said the following to me:
“It isn’t you. It’s the fact that if you can make these changes so can they. Which means if they are unhappy with their bodies they can do something about it. That makes people uncomfortable.”
The good news is, people get over it. While I am still offered up nutrition advice and am always prepared to answer the “where is your protein” question for the most part people are “over it” in terms of my changes. What started out as being funny– the big girl doing tae bo by herself at work– became a part of who I was. It stopped being interesting and became a part of my identity.
When you start to make changes it’s likely the people around you will respond and it may not be with an outpouring of support and awe. It probably won’t be. Try not to take it personally (nothing ever really is personal anyway) and just give those around you the chance to adjust. Commit to your new choices and stick it out. Once the dust settles and the new you doesn’t seem to be going away people will get used to it. The concerns will begin to fade away. And maybe you’ll even inspire a few people along the way.
Shake the haters off and do you.
Love, Mama
THANK YOU!
I feel I’ve been in the same boat lately. I’ve been at it for about year now and I still have people telling me that me eating 1800 calories a day ( 1400 if you subtract calories burned from exercise) is unhealthy. Then I tell them that my 1800 calories packs more nutrition than they eat over the course of 3 days at 9000 calories and they get mad.
And then there are the “well this scientist says your body doesn’t nee carbs, he’s not a doctor so he has no agenda so he is right” type of people out there.
Sometimes I have to bite my tongue, except for my local gym’s expert who told me “your body burns 40 calories per hour per pound of muscle”. I said back “So I need 6000 calories per hour for maintenance which means I should start eating cake like RIGHT NOW?!”. His Reply “That’s what fitness school taught me.”.
The really funny ones are the haters that think their protein shakes (cough* shakeology) are some kind of miracle shake that NO ONE ELSE CAN MAKE OMG AND YOU CANT GET ANYTHING LIKE IT OMG OMG!!!! And they get mad when you suggest the idea of an alternative…
Anyway, I agree, shake off the haters, there all just jealous and know your right!
Mama I needed to read this post today it is speaking volumes to me. There is one person in my life constantly putting down my boobs in particular amoung other things and honestly there are those days when I sit there and shake my head in disbelief because I physically feel so much better I don’t know why people cannot just leave it alone and be happy for me.
It is hard. It’s a lot of work to change all your habits. And then you start to feel better, and this weight is lifted off of you literallly and figuratively and THEN people are mean about it. When people ask me if I miss my boobs I tell them I do, but I don’t miss the big belly they sat on!
People will back off. They just have to get used to the new you. Meanwhile just be prepared to not give a shit when people are rude to you. You know you are doing good, healthy things for yourself and that’s all that matters.
Oh wow, I could have written that post myself. I’ve lost 40lbs and am very proud of it. I wanted to get rid of all the baby weight from baby #2 and really focus on becoming healthy again. When I was overweight no one said a word if I ate something they considered healthy or had extra deserts. Then when I was in the process of losing weight and family/friends started to notice the change….oh my. I was frankly shocked at the response. I felt like if I was hugely obese and lost weight, people would think it was wonderful. But since I went from “normal over-weight looking” like everyone else was to tiny, fit, healthful, everyone became a critic. Friends would say, “So are you just starving yourself to lose weight”? I didn’t get it. It was like people had NO idea how to lose weight/eat healthy themselves without doing some crazy unhealthy diet or weird thing. I would calmly respond it was just the good old-fashioned way, eating healthy and exercising. My in-laws still don’t get it, my Mother-in-law would cut a piece of pie and try to shove it in my mouth, declaring thin people get sick all the time. (!!) Nice to know others have gone through the negative end as well. Even so, I feel WONDERFUL and feel proud I am setting a great example for my kids.
What bothers me is the pressure I get, or feel, when eating with others who choose less healthy options than myself. Like I have to devour the cheesy fries and double fudge brownie sundae with them or I’m stuck up? That’s frustrating,
Oh my! Exactly!!! And when you work hard to do it the right way– eating healthy and exercise it’s REALLY frustrating to have people assume you are starving. Actually, it’s a lot harder work than starving and leads to feeling a lot better. And thin people are sick all the time? That’s new. Keep up the good work lady!
AWESOME post. Your husband’s friend is exactly right. People don’t like to deal with change, especially if its something they need to do, too.
Thanks for sharing!
Winks & Smiles,
Wifey
Great post! Shake those haters off! It really goes back to what we were talking about on twitter. When people are faced with truth, they get scared…Because when we come face to face with truth, we either change, or choose to ignore it! Scary but true!