Before I made some significant lifestyle changes I didn’t realize I was unhealthy. That is to say, I knew I wasn’t pleased with my body but I honestly believed that I was just fat because God made it so. My thought process went something like: My metabolism must not be like those skinny girls. There is just no hope for me. Might as well go eat some ice cream.
Turns out it was my CHOICES that made me fat. It wasn’t just that I had a slow metabolism or that I didn’t do some incredible amount of “crazy” exercise… it was that I made a series of choices everyday that contributed to my overall lack of good health, and made me fat.
Shockingly, the fact that I lead an altogether sedentary lifestyle and ate a bunch of junk it was made me fat. And no amount of denial or tears could change this for me. I chose to be fat. End of story.
The good news is I could just as easily make choices to be healthy and fit. So I did. One step at a time.
A few notes about this change that I think are really important. Being overweight is not healthy. Although being thin does not mean that you are healthy either. I advocate for health. But healthfulness is not a moral issue. Regardless of your size EVERONE deserves to respect themselves, deserves the respect of others and should carry themselves with confidence. Those are things we all struggle with, at every size and fitness level.
Something I found suprising about changing my exercise and eating habits is how different I FEEL. I sleep better, I’m less tired during the day, I feel light and energetic and dare I say… happy. These are things I wish for everyone.
When I was overweight I had the worst habits, and I thought they made me feel good. For example; I would go to a mexican restaurant and look over the “combination platters” to see which meal had the most food to decide what to get. Because (my logic) I wanted to eat as much as possible, but only “one meal.” At every meal I would eat until I was just full to the brim and then want to come home, unbutton my pants and be still. This overfull, bloated aftermath is not a good feeling. But at the time I associated it with good times with friends, love and happiness.
In truth, being bloated doesn’t really make anyone happy.
I remember I used to read in magazines about people being addicted to food or being ‘emotional eaters” and I never thought I was one of “those people.” No, I thought, I’m just fat because God willed it, I don’t eat because I’m sad, or addicted… psh. Well, I did both. And here is how I know. Food is meant to fuel your body. I used to eat for a lot of reasons which were not about fueling my body. Boredom was a big one. A lot times I would eat for not reason at all. Sometimes I would go buy some icecream and eat it because I was down as a “pick me up.” What kind of ‘pick me up’ makes you feel bad about yourself?
I have learned that if you want to feel healthy, and if weight loss is a goal of yours the basic plan of action should be to move around more than you do, and eat a little more healthy that you do now. Those choices are not up to God and they aren’t about starvation, deprivation, killing yourself at a gym or good luck. They are about small choices you make everyday. And the only person in the world it’s up to; is you.
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