I’m not a morning person. This was particularly true when I was in school. And by school I mean Jr. High, High School as well as college. The mornings for me when I was younger included (sorry Mom!) hollering at my Mother that I couldn’t find my outfit I wanted to wear, sometimes pretending to be ill, trying to find any way to get out of approaching the day. The latter years were much the same without anyone to holler at. I also stayed up late into the night, with the thinking that I’m just a “night person.”
Turns out this wasn’t exactly the case. In hind site, due in part to a trauma I suffered around 13 years old I was suffering from some state of PTSD and anxiety/depression. The staying up late part was allowing me not to face the day. At night no one expects anything of you, there is nothing that has to be done, no commitment to honor, it’s just you and the night. Daybreak comes with expectations. Things to do, ways to succeed or fail. Daybreak in this way is (like most things) ripe with potential and also terrifying.
Lately my “non-morning person” mentality has resulted in somewhat chaotic mornings. I wake up to my little angel crying and then proclaiming “LOLA WAKE!” I stumble into her bedroom and start the day with changing out of “yucky jammies” and failing in any attempt to choose Lola’s clothing (her opting always for floral prints, me hoping for a matching outfit). We head downstairs and eat breakfast which is followed by me cleaning the house, updating website stuff, watching Mickey Mouse and trying to wrap my head around what needs to be accomplished today and in what timeframe. Then the guilt sets in: with topics including but not limited to: splitting my time between my child and anything else, not getting enough done for my business and the house not being clean enough.
Somewhere in there we make it to the gym and Lola is off to play with the “baby gym” kids and I proceed to lift heavy ass weights, run sprint intervals and end it all with an effective yoga routine. About a ½ hour in I feel my body but more importantly my mind really wake up. When I’m done and I pick up Lola she is even more happy to see me than she was when she woke up. I know this is because I’m fully present now which one cannot help but radiate.
I tried lots of approaches to “getting healthy” including a stint with a therapist in college. He was not helpful. All he wanted to talk about was my father and his morning routine. To which I responded, “I know statistically going straight for the Daddy issues is a safe bet but my Dad and I get along fine… I can tell you what’s wrong with me, I just don’t know what to do!” and “Why do we spend so much time talking about how you read the paper? I don’t have a sunporch, drink coffee or understand why this is relevant.” In the end I quit seeing him and still don’t think his methods were at all helpful to me but it is only 7 or so years later that I comprehend the point of his paper reading stories.
Days are big. They are full of things to do, feelings to have and good intentions that sometimes go awry. Mornings are small. They are often overlooked or used only as a time to sleep in, but making a small change to how you start your day could change your life. No really.
I love a small goal. My small goal of the moment is to start my day well.
This morning I woke up with my husband (extra early) and enjoyed some coffee and some quiet. I set my intention for the day focusing on what 2-3 things I’d like to accomplish today and set their priorities. Then I spent a little time tidying up the house and did a short yoga routine to wake up my body. As Lola was still asleep I baked some pumpkin pie oatmeal and relaxed until she woke up.
When Lola woke up today I could see the difference in her face. She even said “LOLA WAKE… MOMMY WAKE!”
Instead of feeling tired, rushed, stressed and disoriented I felt awake, calm and organized. Mostly I just felt ready.
I will not reiterate my routine for you now or suggest you have Daddy issues to resolve. But I do suggest experimenting with making a small adjustment to your schedule. Go to bed ½ hour earlier and wake up ½ hour earlier (or whatever works for you). Even if you can just squeeze in an extra 15 minutes in the morning it could help your whole day. Set your intention. Clear your mind. Wake up slower. And get ready for whatever the day has in store for you. Don’t let mornings happen to you, try enjoying the opportunity to start your day off in a manner that pleases you. So much of our lives feel like they are happening to us. Say goodbye to hitting the snooze button and rushing around to get where you’re going. Take back your mornings!
Let me know how it goes!
Love, Mama
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