Lola and I had our first big road trip. We went to Lincoln, NE to visit friends for a few days. I planned ahead, and brought healthy snacks for the road and drank a ton of water… however I didn’t strive for perfection here. I ate out at restaurants I missed from college. I didn’t order lovely salads either. I had all my faves. Know what else? I didn’t work out. All 3 days.
I don’t feel bad about that. And I’m not suggesting you do the same OR that you spend vacations only eating super healthy and working out everyday. I’m saying I made a choice. Today I’m living with the consequences of that choice.
I sometimes forget how bad it feels to eat unhealthy and not workout. I’m so used to how it feels to move and fuel myself with delicious, healthy food. I mean, I lived the past 3 days just like I lived a whole 25 years of my life. But the feeling is so dramatically different now. I know I felt how I do today all the time before, but it’s hard to miss feeling healthy when you don’t even know what that feels like. So let’s talk about how today feels…
(This is the TMI part, but I’m just keepin’ it real.)
-I’m bloated. So bloated I can see it in my face. I feel a little like a blowfish.
-I’m backed up. Maaan, I’m so used to being super regular. It’s like clockwork and it’s always “good.” (I know you know what I mean.) I haven’t had what is for me a normal trip to the restroom in 3 days. While sharing about my toilet habits is not my favorite, it’s worth mentioning that being regular is perhaps one of my favorite things about eating healthy (particularly all the produce). It has turned something almost always unpleasant into an easy routine.
-I feel sluggish. This part feels like an actual hang over. I woke up this morning with my body feeling like a ton of bricks. I’m not a morning person and never have been, but once I get moving in the gym I always feel good. This morning, even being at the gym I felt like curling up on a machine and going back to sleep. Not normal. Not awesome.
-I’m not hungry. Eating all this junk (and probably the backed up part) has left me feeling like a blob of full. I’m used to being hungry every 3 hours or so and always ready to eat when I wake up or finish training. Right now I just feel full.
-Overall I’m just uncomfortable in my body. Not in a “when I look in the mirror I feel badly” sort of way, but just physically uncomfortable. I feel like I just left a buffet that I went way overboard at. Except my last Nebraska meal was over 24 hours ago.
I don’t feel bad about my choices. I never beat myself up because I find it completely counter-productive. Also, it doesn’t make sense. I didn’t “cave,” I made a fucking choice. I chose cheese and laying around over spinach and burpees. It’s not sad. It’s not a failure. It’s a choice. Sometimes I think beating yourself up somehow makes it a moral issue and a character flaw that is out of your hands as opposed to a choice. It’s a choice.
That said, I don’t think I will make the same choice again. Maybe next time I will pick one meal to indulge in and take a long my TRX for some quick workouts. Maybe I will weigh it all out and decide that the feeling today is worth it (doubt it). Either way I won’t tell myself terrible things about what a failure I am for making choices.
So today I have full blown vacation hangover. Tomorrow should be a little better. Looking forward to feeling like myself again in all the good ways. =)
Mama
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