So the Victoria’s Secret fashion sh0w was tonight. I didn’t watch it. Not on some principle I just didn’t know it was on. And it’s honestly something I’m not into. But I do “watch” facebook and it was blowing UP with women. Only women. Talking about the models.
Some of them said they were attractive. Mostly they said they were too skinny and not real. *To be fair to my friends, the comments that sent me to the keyboard were all people I don’t know on friend’s walls… I’m not picking on you.*
THOSE WOMEN ARE REAL. They are real women. Real live women. They have real vaginas that bleed just like yours and mine. They get mood swings and sometimes have too many feelings. They have been heart broken, elated, suffered loss, discomfort and great joy. They are someone’s baby, sister, lover, wife and some may be someone’s Mama.
It is possible that some of them did unhealthy things to be as small as I’m sure they are required to be for that show. But I’m sure you know MANY people who do unhealthy things to their bodies on a regular basis. Hell, you have probably done really unhealthy things to your body. Not to mention to become obese usually requires doing really unhealthy things to one’s body but this does not send most “on-looking” women into an uproar.
Hating on these chicks is about our own insecurities. Period. And you can tell me until you are blue in the face that you don’t want to look like them, that you want to look “real.” But again, “how you feel about me is between you and your self esteem!”
When you feel good about you, you don’t attack others.
Now I’m not saying we are all supposed to look like that. I know there are little girls watching this who now feel badly because they don’t look like those women. I have been the girl looking at pictures of women like that in magazines and hating myself. But little girls don’t have to look to the runway to learn to hate their bodies. The much more powerful message comes from the women around them. The women in their homes, in their families and in their lives.
You are the teacher. Not the lingerie store. They sell fantasy. HELLO, it’s a lingerie store. You know damn well lingerie is for catching a mate and keeping them in a good mood, not for your everyday run to the grocer. That’s what the granny draws are for. I mean, uh… what are we talking about?
Victoria’s secret is not responsible for your body image. Victoria’s secret women are real people. And while I’m sure they aren’t at home right now boo-hoo-ing because women across the world are all hating on them right now, that doesn’t make it right.
Can you imagine men doing this? A bunch of grown ass men running to the message boards like, “Did you see that dudes abs? Totally unrealistic.” Men don’t do this. They also don’t have eating disorders at shockingly high rates. They aren’t near as likely to kill themselves to be a particular size for aesthetics. And I think that has MUCH more to do with the fact that they aren’t busy hating themselves and each other than it has to do with a panty store.
Do I think it would be totally rad for brands like this to represent more flavors from the vast spectrum of what is a beautiful woman. Oh God yes. I’d like to see more cultures, subcultures, body types, ages… because damn it women are beautiful. Unfortunately they have chosen to represent a very narrow demographic. But that doesn’t mean those women aren’t beautiful.
If some of them did unhealthy things to look the way they did tonight, I hope they make healthy choices in the future. I in no way condone abusing your body in any way. I also hope you make healthy choices in your future. But I think it’s a little wack that we all jump on the super-health band wagon when it means we get to hate on other women and not when it comes to our own dinner choices and exercise programs (or lack there of).
Bottom line; I think calling thin women “unreal” is shitty. Lifting yourself up doesn’t have to come from putting others down. And if you are concerned about the messages the media sends to girls, perhaps you should consider the one that comes from your own mouth first. And it would be way awesome if that message wasn’t to verbally abuse those who make you feel insecure.
You are totally beautiful. Don’t be an asshole.