But I don’t wanna…
Let me be clear in saying I have been fat my entire life. I have occasionallylost weight only gain it again.My peak athletic performances until recently were pretty embarrassing. The highlights include making a lay up in a jr high basketball game only to realize during my personal celebratory gestures that I made it on the wrong teams basket. Yeah, I was THAT girl.
So when I started exercisingthis time it wasnt much different. The first time I tried to go out for a jog I was wearing 10 year oldshoes with the laces cut out, and pushing a rickety non-jogger stroller. I would learn quickly that neither of these are conducive to a run, which really was okay since I could only do a small shuffle for a few seconds anyway.
Now I love working out. I love working up a sweat. I dont really enjoy rest days, but make myself take them because I know they are important for my health.
This did not occur overnight.
I zumbaed, power 90ed, turbo jammed, tae boed, jillianmichealedand even sweatinto the oldiesd. Some of these activities were more enjoyable than others but I made myself do it. When I started running I thought I would never enjoy it. But I made myself do it.
6 days a week for 6 months I ran before I enjoyed anything about it. No joke.
There were days when I didnt feel great, or something got me down. There were plenty of days where I felt unsupported, alone, drained and completely unmotivated. Those were the days being motivated by something deeper than a pant size really mattered. I thought about my baby, and what I want to role model for her, and did what I needed to do.
6 days a week. 6 months. And this was after a good 4 months of working up to exercise beyond a 15 minute walk around the neighborhood. Something in me began to change. It took me awhile to wrap my head around it because I had to let go of old ideas about myself that no longer served me.
Oh, that was so good Im going to have to get all Oprah on you and repeat myself.
I had to let go of old ideas about myself that no longer served me.
I was no longer a person who hated to exercise. I also was no longer obese, or easily winded walking up a flight of stairs. I became energized, healthy, lighter physically and emotionally. Literally and figuratively I lost a lot of weight.
As this transformationwas occurring I started to challenge other notions I had about myself. Im still a work in progress, and I believe everyone is. But I can now see the progress. The weight I carried held me back in so many ways. And letting it go has allowed me to get closer to the person I was meant to be.
This is what I want for you.
To believe yourself to be worthy of all good things.
To be able to personally measure your character without a mirror.
To love every aspect of who you are, and challenge yourself to change the parts you dont like.
To feel healthy and alive.
To never let your size be a reason you dont feel able to do anything.
Even if you arent looking for a trainer or wanting any of my services, feel free to email me. Id love to hear about where youre coming from and where youre going.