An open letter to my little fierce one
There are several articles floating around about how to talk to little girls, little girls and body image, little girls and beauty they are thoughtful and thought-provoking.
But that is not the conversation that is happening at my house.
I dont want my little girl to think that she has to be a princess or a model or some other standard of beauty to be worthy. I know that the way I treat myself and feel about me will effect her more deeply than anything else and so I hold myself at a high standard. But this is not simply about embracing the size of my booty. Its about knowing deep within me that I am beautiful and worthy as I am. Its about walking around in it. Its about realizing all of my potential, falling down and getting back up, taking life by the horns and sometimes just being peaceful with it. I dont simply want my daughter to know shes smart, I want her to know that who she is every part of her is deserving, worthy and amazing. I want to teach her how to walk around in who she is, breathe into every corner of it, expect growth and always lean into what will make her better. I want her to have a beautiful life.
Being overly focused on not being awesome enough on the outside, or only being good enough on the inside or whatever variation of that is beyond the point. Those are really big things. But the bigger picture for me is that she lives her life. That she does it big. That she makes choices she feels good about, and not out of fear of not being good enough or rejection. I bet when you think about your best moments to date those *really* good life moments where everything seems exactly as it should be and you just want to cozy up to it had nothing to do with any of that. You were just living. I want my daughter to LIVE. And I think the more time we spend battling over who is the prettiest or what is a real woman or how our bodies are allowed to be, the less time we spend leaning into our beautiful lives. Exactly as we are. Exactly as it comes.
Part of that is knowing that she is smart and talented. Part of that is respecting and living in the body she has. Overall its about living her best life. I recently wrote her an open letter to that end. Here is my offering to the what we teach little girls conversation
Your Mommy used to really loathe parts of who she was. I wasted a lot of time hating the body I lived in. While now it feels superficial, I was so caught up in not measuring up that I didnt fully realize myself. It was knowing I was going to raise a phenomenal woman that made me know better. I began to walk around like I deserved to be there. I started holding my head high. I stopped apologizing for my body and started living in it. And in doing so I was able to finally be the best version of me.
I dont know who you will become. I know that I cannot wait to learn from you. You are not even 5 and you have taught me more about myself and about life then you will ever know. Youve made me love harder, care more about the world around me youve literally made me want to start a revolution because I believe that you are a young woman who deserves one.
You are epic.
And that is basically what I want you to know. I dont know the details of what your struggle will be. We all struggle, baby girl. With who we are and who we want to be. With significant others. With love. With friendship. With growing up. While part of me wants to keep you from struggling, I know that your struggles will make you better and that some lessons have to be learned the hard way. But I want you to know that you are beautiful, amazing and wonderful. I want you to know that your body is the temple you have to travel this life in and its amazing. I want you to know that you deserve all the best things, and that to get them you have to realize first within yourself that you are worthy.
You are worthy, baby girl.
I want you to walk into every room of your life with your head held high like you deserve to be there. Your Mommy didnt always do that like she does now. I wish that for you.
I love you more than the moon and stars. Thank you for turning me from an insecure woman to a powerhouse.
You are that.
Never, ever apologize for it.