a moment of grace
There is only one certainty in life and that is that it comes to an end. Each of us will have a final day. Before that day comes we will see loved ones and cherished friends go. This is not a fact I like to spend a lot of time thinking about but it remains true none the less.
They say these things come in threes but lately around me they have come more frequently. Close friends have faced their own mortality and said goodbye too soon to loved ones. I always feel so helpless in the face of death. There never seems to be the right words as everyone has togrieveintheirown way and time; and nothing can bring back what was lost.
This morning after my early client left and my husband was off to work I had a few moments to myself. I sat outside watching the sun come up and the clouds cross the sky thinking about all the tragedy of the past few weeks. I rarely have the time to sit and think quietly so I allowed myself the silence and space.
As I sat in awe of the beauty of daybreak I felt thankful. Thankful that I have today. Thankful that I have one more day of living in which I can offer support to those who need it and make sure the people I love know it. There is grace in knowing thats all we have.
I have plans for myself and my family. I look forward to better things to come. But I am grateful in the notion that if today is all I have left that while I have at times struggled I have done my best.
I still dont have the right words for my friends. I cant offer comfort. Even the comfort that comes from seeing the bigger picture, in which we all have a purpose and an end, is something everyone comes to in their own way. So for now, to honor those who are not with us in the physical sense, I will be kinder than necessary, grateful for all that I have and the opportunity to learn from what I lack.
If God said, Rumi, pay homage to everything that has helped you enter my arms, there would not be one experience of my life, not one thought, not one feeling, not any act, I would not bow to.