What happened to Fit Mama Training?
I started this website/facebook etc when I became a personal trainer. But aside from clients Ive actually worked with, nothing Ive done online has really been about personal training. Aside from an occasional blip about an upcoming boot camp and having services listed on my webpage Ive never even really used fit mama to advertise my personal training services. Fit Mama Training was never specifically about personal training. It has always been a reflection of me and the kind of impact I hope to have on the world. The messages have been about:
-helping women separate their personal worth from the shape of their bodies
-finding shared journeys and community among women instead of divisive judgement
-sharing my personal journey from a complete lack of regard for my health to becoming the kind of mother who teaches self care by example
-discussing fitness and nutrition from the perspective of self care and living fully as opposed to from a place of constant pressure to shrink
-finding and honoring the health of our bodies through living big and not agonizing over being small
Ive been doing exactly that with my blogs and my social media presence for years. In that time I have grown as a woman, wife and mother. I have received hundreds, thousands? (I truly have no idea, a lot) of emails from women who have found some confidence or inspiration from the things I write about. From women seeking support in their emotional battles with food and weight. From women who admit in short and long stories that they have hated themselves and their bodies for as long as they can remember. From women who struggle or have struggled with ED (eating disorders) who have an incredibly difficult time finding a safe space for help and not judgement. In short, weve been talking. And were not talking about sets and reps.
I didnt announce it until recently, but I havent been taking new individual clients for awhile. I have continued to offer online training and support but writing, responding to emails and preparing for speaking engagements around body image and empowerment have been taking more and more of my time. And honestly, its the message, not the lunges, that Im passionate about. Fitness and health continues to be a huge part of that. But my passion for those things comes from a commitment to taking care of myself that I hope to help other women find more so than my passion for maximum impact training techniques.
Then something else happened. My facebook page started growing at an overwhelming pace. This may sound like bragging about being too rich, but it was growing at a pace that stressed me out. 10,000 new likes? Ive dealt with growing pains along the way with social media. More people doesnt always mean more supporters, but simply more people. I know there are people who follow me who feel connected to me, who my voice resonates with, who care very much about what Im doing and have to say. There some people who just havent gotten around to unliking me because Im not working for them, or something about the way I communicate (or the content) isnt for them. And then there are folks who I just make super angry. I also have received many emails about this. Im unwavering and (lets be real) a little defiant, so nay-sayers wont change me. But dealing with the recent onslaught of negative commentary and body attacks caused me to wonder if there might be a way to be more clear about my message and my purpose in order to avoid some of this. For everyone. Most of the people who follow me who end up yelling obscenities at me on the internet, originally followed fit mama training thinking it would be another fitness advice source. And as thats not really what I do, my self-love, anti-judgement, self-care touting pseudo hippie self was pretty irritating.
So moving forward, nothing has changed. If you havent worked with me as a trainer one on one, then you still wont. =) If you are currently working with me, our relationship remains. If you follow me or enjoy what I write, you can look forward to more of the same. As Ive refocused my work to speaking and writing (while never changing the content or purpose) it made sense to me to simply call myself, my name. I am Erin Brown. It has already slowed down the likes. Mostly because it isnt evident that its a fitness page and you have to spend a few extra moments figuring out if you like me. Im all for that. While Im not afraid of criticism, I would rather defend my convictions as myself than have to continue to defend if my name suits my work. Overtime there will be changes in the appearance here, the url will redirect. Im just trusting my gut and allowing myself to work in ways that feel right to me. Im not changing. Im becoming. I hope to continue becoming until I die.
So, I am Erin Brown. Im a woman who used to hate herself while trying really hard to not let anyone know that. Im a wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. Im a social worker and a personal trainer. If I were to define my goal as simply as possible- to help women love and accept themselves as they are in order to take better care of themselves. From this place of self-respect and care we have the freedom to be fearlessly ourselves and expend our energies living our best lives and growing into our best selves instead of obsessing over ours and others thighs. At this point in my journey I feel I can do more with my voice than with my stopwatch. And if youre still with me, I appreciate you, (But you can still call me Fit Mama if you wanna).